Monday, February 23rd, 2015
HOW HAS WRITING A BOOK ABOUT PRAYING CHANGED ME?
I was asked that very question by a friend who read the rough draft of I PRAY ANYWAY–Devotions For The Ambivalent.
He was complimentary about the book.
He thought it made me very vulnerable.
Then he said, “Who cares about the book? How did writing it change you?”
I’m much more casual about saying to my husband, “I’m going to disappear for awhile to pray.” It has become normal in the household.
I’m still shy or worried about perceptions when it comes to talking about it with family and close, close, close friends. Embarrassed to acknowledge how serious I am about it.
I do have a larger hunger now for spiritual food than when i started the book.
I’m not sick of it.
I am more interested in sharing the writing and having conversations about it than I was when I started writing the book. I’m tired of my own voice. I want to hear others.
I do feel a sense of adventure to think that prayer provides guidance and a kind of alignment of purpose, capital P. I’m still learning to not be embarrassed to admit that.
I do experience more day to day mini-miracles meaning something good happens that has no rationale or scientific basis. Shouldn’t be possible and is.
I do feel like I am a writer for the rest of my life. I’ve always been a non-writing writer. You know what I mean.
I turn to prayer for comfort and get it. I end up with a kind of strata of joy that doesn’t go away.
I’m less satisfied with the present forms and language of religion. They just don’t fit the global transformation we are in.
I’m more interested in science, especially New Physics where spirit will meet
the tangible world.
I hurt more for the craziness of the world and get mad less.
I feel like I’ve come home to a part of me I ignored for many years.
That’s enough. Good question