Monday, June 16th, 2014


I’m sharing some of the entries of a book I’m working on.
I PRAY ANYWAY–Devotions for the Ambivalent.
I share them to get used to the idea of sharing intimate stuff.
I’m like a seedling getting hardened for the real garden. (Huh?)
Always glad for comments and your stories.
Because I don’t really write. I talk. And love a conversation.

In sixth grade I gave God up
On Christmas Eve no less
Went to Christmas Service with my parents my college brother, and his fiance
My best friend and I were in the choir
We all went to her house after the service for Polish food and fun
I couldn’t wait to tell her I had been kissed for the first time
(My boy crush and later love had come by my house with mistletoe)
Both yuck and yowee!
I remember red hot cheeks
I never did tell her
A phone call ruined Christmas and God for me
My brother’s girlfriend’s family had been killed in a car accident
Hit by a drunken driver
Her grandparents, her parents, her seven year old brother and a new baby girl
All killed
A six casket funeral
A nine year old sister lived

So may ramifications from that night
I did not have an alcoholic drink until I was forty-four
I still am uncomfortable around real drunkenness
I immediately refused church, Sunday school, prayer,Bible
If God was not good, phooey oh him (small h )
For quite a while
I gave up on God


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