Monday, July 18th, 2016


Do we expect death to be easy?
I think we do
The death of others is overwhelmed by our own personal loss
Our own pain is the focus

Our inevitable personal death to come, we shake off
We know it will happen
And we veer away quickly from that knowledge
Nothing we can do about it

Here’shat I know about dying:
Dying is itself is usually hard work
It’s no fun for the person dying either
It takes energy
It can be a sweet moment
It can be quite anti climatic
Some people will enjoy the drama and make it bigger than life ( now that’s funny)
It takes a year to absorb the death
Food helps’
Talking about the death is needed to believe it
Its hardnot to get imprinted with the last living image. Photos help balance this
Not everybody has to cry
No service can be perfect because the situation can’t be remedied
Sitting and staring seems to help
Sorrow is the right response
No shame no hurry no fake joy needed. Celebrate the life but mourn the loss
Grief demands lots of sleep. Daily details can feel like Mount Everest
Every anniversary sucks
It is bewildering for the person dying too
Think of going on the biggest journey of your life ALONE. ANDKNOWING IT
Grief can feel like a combo of stage fright and lethargy. Geared up and unable to move

More thought to come. We, in the US, are just beginning to take death for what it is.
More on that to come


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