Monday, May 4th, 2015


Don’t ask me! I do get sick and tired of it.
I do think it is a soul thing.
If I give up my more than intellectual interest in prayer and spiritual life, I am relieved for a while. “Good, now I know who I am and where I stand.”  I want to be a good person and let it go at that.  Then the discontent starts. How to explain it?  My life is good and yet not right. That’s the feeling. So then, 
I turn to my devotional practice which gets me more crazy. So many points of view. I can find peace if I choose one path, one book, one culture, but only for a while. Soon I disrespect myself as a dilettante. So I give up. Then discontent and hunger grow again. Back to devotions.  I mean it when I say, “I pray anyway”.  “Anyway” is the operative word.  In spite of discontent, contentment, good happening, bad happenings, I pray “anyway”.  It’s an experiment that needs good protocol.  That’s what my devotions are–the protocol to see the result of a constant kind of prayer.  


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